Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize