I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
