Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
