Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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