You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
