i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
