Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
