Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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