i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
did you just send me my own nude
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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