addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
