Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
