For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
