Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
