um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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