margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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