Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
