Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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