Nicole vs. Life
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
