My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize