He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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