? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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