wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
