Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
