you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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