i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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