There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My balls are so social today.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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