Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
