Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize