Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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