Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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