end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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