I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
