Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
