Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
