Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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