i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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