Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
