Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
