listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
