Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
