i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize