I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
