Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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