can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
