and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
