oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
