i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize