Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish you could order shots online.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
