I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
