I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
