Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
