I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
