i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
