I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
