Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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