so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
