I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he puts the penis in happiness.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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