my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
