I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
