Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
are you so shy because you have an std?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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