And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
