What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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