As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
