WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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