i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
