i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
