Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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