I cockslap morals
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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