My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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