He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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